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3 definitions by Your Uncle Cordelia

 
1.
A key on the keyboard that tweenie girls, newbies and the mentally unstable insist on pressing and using for their entire forum post/IM/text message for reasons unknown.

Perhaps they think it looks cool, or maybe they can't do joined-up writing yet and write in block capitals.

It is the most annoying button in existence.

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OMG LYK WHY CANT I UZ SHIFT TO LYK PROPERLY CAPITALIZE MY SENTNCES?!?!? CAPS LOCK IS JUST LYK SOOOOO COOOOL THAT I MUST TYP EVRYTINK I EVR THINK OF WIT IT???!?!

And such...
Caps lock example included at the end of my definition because UD won't let me abuse Caps Lock in the example
di Your Uncle Cordelia 16 settembre 2006
 
2.
Wannabe teenagers that aren't old enough to be considered teens.

Usually girls that tart themselves up to look like whores around the age of 8-11. Absolutely horrible

Tell tale signs of being a tweenie are flip phones, big hoopy earrings and awful, awful blue eye shadow all before the age of 13.
Look around your local cinema/McDonalds for an example of a tweenie
di Your Uncle Cordelia 19 settembre 2006
 
3.
One that is addicted to Jaffa Cakes.

Signs of being a Jaffaholic:

1.) Ever feeling the need to Cut down Jaffa Cake Consumption.
2.) Ever being Annoyed by someone criticizing your Jaffa Cake consumption.
3.) Ever feeling Guilty about eating Jaffa Cakes
4.) Ever feeling like you need an Eye Opener Jaffa Cake to steady your nerves.

Effects include heavy weight gain, destruction of social lives and withdrawl symptoms.
Mary claimed she "only ate socially", but in fact she would often curl up at the bus station with 5 or 6 boxes of Jaffa Cakes, devouring them in the space of 15 minutes. She would then struggle home.

She soon came to realise that she was a jaffaholic.
di Your Uncle Cordelia 08 ottobre 2006