This is a hovel in the woods
A small, mean, or dilapidated cottage; a wretched dwelling
It's where the poorest kid in school lives, or the definition of any townie's (see chav) house.
Oh yeah?! well fuck off back to your hovel you stupid townie!!!
Person 2: "There's a cauldron outside, so presumably a hovel."
Person 1: "How can you be sure?"
Person 2: "Well cauldrons belong to witches and witches live in hovels so I'm simply exercising my deductive skills."