Sufficiently drunk to be able to speak in tongues, roll eyes, disable the beer GPS, have taxi drivers take one to the police, break ankles, shag your manager (or someone elses)and ultimately become mpp. Only excuse is "I have to go somewhere, and do something" Anyway...
"He would not have luged the stairs if he was not as pissed as a mattress"
"I (he, she or it) was as pissed as a mattress last night"
"Must be MPP, pissed as a mattress when I left him"
"Pyromaniac? No, just pissed as a mattress"
"No, I didn't do that, must have been pissed as a mattress"
"Don't hit me again, Officer"
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